As a female there are certain social constructions placed upon you. I am currently 28, single, no romantic prospects, no children. I am an enigma to female family members and now to certain friends. I feel like the entire world my age is married and on 1 1/2 kids. So I get badgered by questions of who I'm dating or forced encouragement of "Oh you'll find your soulmate, you'll find your prince." All the while I smile cheesily because I just want to scream "SHUT UP!!" Maybe I've found my soul mate or soul mates already, you just don't see it that way.
On top of the marital status and lack of child, now I'm being badgered about graduate school. "You need to stop that office work and get a real job." "You can do so much better." "So when are you going to get into a grad program. The longer you stay out, the longer it takes." BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!! While I thank you for your concern and your odd type of encouragement. I don't enjoy being hounded about when my life is going to catapult to immediate success. I cannot tell you when I'm going to finally get into grad school.
I don't feel the need to explain my long winded story of how my GPA sucks and I'm trying to raise it up. I don't want to get into how I need a better GRE score or that the creative writing programs require six upperdivision courses that I have not taken or that I do not have a good enough portfolio to submit. I do not feel the need to tell you that I'm doing research to build my research experience or whatever it is I am doing in my life that you have neglected to credit me for.
I am 28 years old and yes I am an administrative professional, in layman's terms I am a secretary. The word secretary is all people see. They think I make coffee and sit on my ass doing nothing, occasionally answer a phone or too and gossip in an office. Yes some days are slow but usually I'm busting my rear. I'm busting my butt setting up meetings, networking, handling phones, appointments, drafting important documents and emails and whatever else it takes to assist in running a successful program. Do not let my title fool you; I do alot.
So yes perhaps I am not in the career I saw myself in. Perhaps yes I'm lost. The point is I'm lost in life and finding myself in other projects. I am educated and will not be tolerated to be treated otherwise. Just because I am working here in this field now does not mean I've given up on my hopes and dreams.
People think that by badgering you it's going to light a fire under your butt and you'll be in grad school tomorrow. Seriously all it does is make you put your head down in shame because you know that you have no update. It only makes me want to stop talking to you and not share anything with you. Let people grow in their own time. Life is a journey. It's an individual journey. Allow people to make that journey in their own time not yours.
Badgering to you may be encouraging and an interest in your well-being from another. I know how you feel. I had set some specific goals for my academic career and when they did not go as planned many "encouraged" me to get back into school. And it doesn't stop there. After we had our first child, people immediately began "encouraging" us to have another. All I can do is thank people for their concern and love for me and reassure then that I am very happy with my career and the number of kids we have.
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