Shower Regrets

Maybe it was the way,

The way he lamented.

On how,

How...

My tits, MY  tits!

Well, they were too small.

And how I put on weight,

With little to no effort at all.

Or maybe it was every time

I had a pregnancy scare,

How he’d claim it wasn’t his.

I became worthless.

With the very thought of bearing a kid.

Itty bitty tits

Stupid secretary!

Secret secretary

forbidden lover

Hidden friends.

Willing to take it all in the end.

Stood at the crossroads,

Of the broken…

The broken,

Broken, dark, road

Where I ran

To the car

I speedily drove.

I drove off

Cuz it’s better to be

Better to be

ALONE!

Than a pathetic

REASON!

For you to hang around

Feeling pitty

Because you’re guilty

And the consequences

Of our actions

Make you feel so ashamed.

Now we cross paths.

Looking ahead

No names.

No history.

Though you know my vagina better,

Than my gyno, you know it better,

Better than…

Better than Vasco de Gama.

Without a map you’ve navigated

every inch of me and my mattress.

And now you look through me,

Like an apparition.

I cease to exist.

But I’m free now!

So I don’t have to put up,

With listening to your whining and ranting!

About my small tits

And how that outfit, it just doesn’t fit!

Did you see that chick?

She was so pretty!

So not YOU!

She was hating on you!

Hating because you’re with ME!

Oh, you’re so plain, so ugly!

Come here, come here dear friend

Let me kiss you, let me hold you!

Let me kiss you, but not mean it!

And I will fool you,

Whilst I’m kissing you,

In the darkness,

Where no one can see;

Because you aren’t that lovely, not lovely to me.

It’s all about me! You are for me.

For the taking

For my glory

No, wait, don’t you love me?

Why do you use me?

Abuse me?

Oh ok, it’s all my own will

My legs, they spread easily.

And you’ve raped me.

Without truly raping me.

Because I gave in; I consented.

I let you in.

But now you’ve discarded me, like a used condom,

On the side of the road

Discarded and forgotten

But forever marked

Scarlet letter

Never better.

The shower cannot rid me of you!

Cannot cleanse the regret.

Though I scrub and I scrape and the loofah burns my skin,

I cannot wash you off from within.

So I lie there as the water pounds down,

Down my quivering body

I wonder…
Who in the hell would ever want me now?