Sinkhole

Sometimes I feel so empty

that hole you left

is slowly going away

but it’s hard to close

a gaping hole the size of the universe

where you left 10 years

of pain and suffering

loving and fussing

where you resided in me for so long

the hole opens up when I see you on the streets

and our eyes never meet

we walk past each other

the silence is deafening

the pain immense

the tears should be intense

but I squint my eyes

super hard

so they run back

and all I swallow

is the lump in my throat

and somedays I barely rememeber

anything about you

you are farther and stranger than you’ve ever been

but some days like today your absence

is felt

until a violent memory

or stabbing words are recalled

and the puzzle is pieced together

and the hole starts to close up again

my heart is a sinkhole

that drops deeper each and every day

I cover it with the giant manhole I create

with healing mantras and activities

prayers and readings

therapy and indulgences.